Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
