We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
