Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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