we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
