guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
