So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize