My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
