I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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