is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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