the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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