I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize