Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
