White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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