guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have fence marks all over my body
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
