They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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