Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
