Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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