Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize