apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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