What a fucking waste of an outfit
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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