At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
