i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
