You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
