I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize