they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
