shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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