ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
