I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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