And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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