even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
whose ass print is on the piano?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
