you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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