strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
