I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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