So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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