The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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