My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
