I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize