His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
