are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
