I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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