For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
