can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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