whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
