Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
