when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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