I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
