About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
