Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize