The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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