just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
