high people should be assigned attendants
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize