And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Less talking, more tequila
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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