Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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