Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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