Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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