Whod you bang
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
