I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
