it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
