Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
