I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
