If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
