you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
