Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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