i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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